Our stuff

Is it Womenzwerk to maintain the family stuff?

Right before my Mom died, she talked to me about her stuff. She wanted the oldest grandson to have her fancy clock. She wanted her great grandsons to have the Christmas train. She wanted me to have the silver. Mostly, she didn't want us to put all her beloved things in a garage sale, but she knew we would some day. My Mom lived alone for over twenty years and really didn't save a lot of extra stuff compared to, say, my husband's parents. But now it's my job to decide what to do with all the stuff of her life and I'm suffering from serious procrastination and can't seem to get it done.

The day of the funeral my brother and his family started sorting the things they thought we should save. My sister-in-law gave me wise women's advice which essentially concluded with the idea that anything historic should be saved. That includes darn near everything in that house. My brother wanted to save odd things like inexpensive trinkets from Mom's many travels. My nephews wanted to save the stuff left over in the house from their Dad's childhood and mine. I just want to pitch it all.

Is it my responsibility to save as much as possible, or to let it go as I'm beginning to let her go? Do I save the playbills from my parent's Chicago honeymoon in the forties because they have historical value? Do I save every letter my Dad sent from the war? OK, that seems reasonable to me. But will I ever read them or donate them, and will my kids care at all about them after an initial glance? Do I save my box of memories and photos from high school? My Girl Scout sash? Really, who cares at this point? Will my daughters just have to decide what to do with this crazy stuff when I die?

I know I'm procrastinating for several reasons. First, it's snowing again and that's a good excuse. Second, I miss my Mom every day and the house just seems like such a sad place to be. But mostly, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to keep and what to release to the universe. I really don't want to store all those memories and all that history in my awareness, in my karmic field or in my energy. Mom's let go. I need to, too. But how much is right and important to keep? And who can tell me? I know women vary on how they feel about this. My sister-in-law is a good example of the "save it" extreme. I feel the weight of the generations on my shoulders. I guess it's Womenzwerk to preserve the family heritage and memories and I'm afraid I'll mess it up. I'm waiting for any resource that might give me comfort on this subject. Or maybe I'm waiting for Spring.

So what do you think, how do women know the right mix of things needed to preserve the family history?