Womenzwerk at the Pump

Do we have a right to "mother" everyone we know? Even complete strangers?

Will our desire to mother everyone never end? I was pumping gas yesterday on the way to work when I noticed a truck full of men pull up. One of them, a younger man, jumped out of the truck to pump the gas and clean the windshield. It was probably around twenty degrees yesterday morning which is almost balmy for Michigan this year. I noticed his bright yellow t-shirt and went about my business.

A few minutes later, a woman just slightly older than me appeared at the opposite pump and shouted to the man in the yellow-T that he needed to get a coat on. She sounded exactly like she could have been his mother. I actually looked up to see if she had gotten out of the truck he had come from, and was reprimanding her son. One look at their faces and I knew, these two were total strangers.

When the young man didn't reply, the woman walked over to him and once again told him to get his coat on. The young man turned and looked at her as if she actually had some authority over him and responded that he had just left it in the car because he had traveled about an hour so far and had taken his coat off while driving. This is common practice for commuters in Michigan who get their cars warm and toasty over the long haul. She responded that she had traveled the same distance and had the good sense to put her coat on when she got out. She went on to explain that he could catch his death of cold in that yellow-T. He said yes ma'am, but his business was finished so he got back in his vehicle and drove away.

The woman, less than satisfied, came towards me looking for trouble. I smiled mightily and promptly tripped over the gas pump that was tailing out of my car. She reached out to catch me and told me to be careful. I said yes ma'am and finished my business at the pump. I felt that we had all just shared a moment.

A true hallmark of Womenzwerk is the need to mother others. After all, if not us, who? If not now, when? Is it the role of all women to mother everyone in our paths? I think it might be. At the very heart of Womenzwerk is the willingness to care for others and an astute sense of responsibility for others' welfare, and that is what motherhood has always been about. I've heard it said that this is deeply imbedded in the female hormonal system, but I'm not sure. I think our desire to perform random acts of motherhood is passed down from generation to generation of women. We help others help themselves, even when they aren't asking for it. We watch each other do this and then we take it upon ourselves to continue the work. We know, as this woman did, that people may initially ignore us but they do hear us and will respond in some way if we deliver motherly messages with authority, because the world wouldn't be the same without mothers and you can never have too many.

I followed this woman out of the station and onto the highway. I watched her cautiously and slowly navigate the icy roads. I saw her pause for slower drivers and make way for incoming traffic. I followed her for about fifteen minutes before out paths diverged. I felt comforted, somehow, by her concern for Mr. Yellow-T and her friendly driving, and I knew that I would mother others that day because of her example.

So, what do you think? Do women have a responsibility and a right to mother others?