Goodbyes are Womenzwerk

If we're good at hellos, Womenzwerk requires that we be good at goodbyes.

It's time to admit that I am in a season of goodbyes. I started this blog in my mother's hospice room and as I write this entry I'm preparing to close the sale of her house. Her house isn't hers any more, of course. My daughter and I shared a sale and lots of moments as we gave away her possessions. But they weren't hers any more either. I filled the dumpster and cried and laughed and talked to Mom, alone in her house. But now it sits empty. Just a building that another family will love. In the midst of the goodbyes I realized how much I was well and truly loved by my parents. And I said goodbye to my childhood and goodbye again to my Dad who passed some twenty five years ago. I said goodbye to my grandparents, my high school buddies, my lake, my street, my neighborhood. All things I thought I'd said goodbye to so many years ago.

And I said goodbye to the old me. My daughter understood in a way that only women can. She just came, when no one else in my family (all men...my brother, my son, my husband) understood. She found a sitter, packed up and came, even though it was inconvenient and short notice and no fun. Because women become experts at goodbyes and in our own way, we know what Shakespeare meant bythe sweet sorrow of parting. To do goodbyes well, we have to master amazing hellos. We welcome each passage of womanhood from our first signs of puberty to our first kiss to our laughs with our girlfriends at 85. We celebrate with parties and events, we take photos, we write poems, we make scrapbooks and we are truly in these welcoming moments with each other. So it's only fitting that when it's time to say goodbye and move on to the next part of our journey, we know how to do that with style, too. If not for the support of my daughter this would have been immensely more difficult. With her help and her love, I can move through it to whatever is next.

In keeping with my season of goodbyes, I know this will be a goodbye year. My son is a senior in high school and already focused on the life he'll lead after he moves forward into his uncharted future, far from Mom and Dad. I can feel him slipping away from me and I'm reaching out to keep him safe. But I need to use this lesson in goodbyes to get ready for that one. My last child leaving the nest. And whatever comes next, is a mystery to all of us. Somehow I know that there will be women with me who will understand and get me through this. Because waiting on the other side of every goodbye is another chance to say hello and celebrate together.

Does Womenzwerk require that we master the art of goodbye? What do you think?